When the world throws you a curve ball...

...swing for the fences.

I just had my "the way things work in the world" sensibilities questioned in an odd way, but it made me realize just how off my sensibilities actually are, and have been for, as it turns out, my whole life.

The world just found out that Julia Louis-Dreyfus has breast cancer.  Do you know what my first thought was?  She can't have breast cancer, she eats cleanly and works out, she's super thin and healthy, she can't possibly have breast cancer!  As if those reasons give anyone a bona fide pass against rapacious diseases like cancer, Alzheimers, ALS, etc.

Immediately I realized the inanity of my thinking, which also made me realize, as embarrassing as it is for me to admit, that up until that point I completely subscribed to and wholly believed the adage, "You can never be too rich or too thin."  Now if you asked me to my face I would absolutely deny that I am so shallow as to endorse such a ridiculous and superficially-focused motto.  And when I look into my heart I honestly don't.

But...

But as much as I cringe to say it, there is some part of me somewhere that does believe that.

Why?

Because that is what has been drilled into me since birth.  That was what I grew up with in my "Whose house is bigger? Who drives the most expensive car? Who has really let herself go? Who has had plastic surgery? Who went on the most luxurious vacation? Who is wearing the good designer jeans? Thinness=Beauty=Worthiness, and everything-that's-important-comes-from-the-external" town.  Those criteria of worth have been reinforced multiple times daily for almost five decades since then through magazines, television, movies, and most recently social media.  The successful ones, the powerful ones, the untouchable ones are thin and rich, and unless we live up to those standards we don't have any hope.

Except that they're not untouchable.  That's what rocked my world.  I somehow thought that the rich and thin, and therefore ultimately lucky and successful people couldn't have anything bad happen to them because they had achieved those two "ideals" in life.  Yes, I realize how phenomenally absurd this thinking is and I'm honestly surprised that these feelings came up in me recently.  But I also realized that this examination of old habits and feelings is what needs to happen if we want to grow and evolve as strong, empowered, healthy, and enlightened people.  The only way to get rid of the old stuff that doesn't serve us as we are now is to look at it to make sure we don't need it anymore.

So I'm looking at it.  It turns out that the rich and thin people are just as infallible as the rest of us.  Let's take a few examples:

Audrey Hepburn - very rich, extremely thin, died of appendiceal cancer at age 63.

Jane Fonda - very rich, extremely thin, and spent most of her life extolling fitness and a healthy lifestyle - diagnosed with breast cancer at age 72 (survived).

Joan Lunden - very rich, quite thin after creating a lifestyle brand promoting diet and exercise for weight loss - diagnosed with breast cancer at age 64 (survived).

Angelina Jolie - super rich, super thin, married to Brad Pitt, had a preventative double mastectomy and partial hysterectomy because she had such a high genetic probability of breast and ovarian cancers.  And she and Brad got divorced.

Olivia Newton-John - so rich, so thin, diagnosed with breast cancer at 43. Survived, but after 25 years the cancer has returned.

It's not just cancer either.

Grace Kelly - described as the most beautiful woman in the world.  Royalty-level rich, very thin, died in a car crash at the age of 52.

Princess Diana - described as the most beloved woman in the world.  Also royalty-level rich, thin (thanks to her bulimia), died in a car crash at 36 years old.

Natalie Wood - rich, thin, held in high esteem by so many people around the world, died in a mysterious drowning at the age of 43.

Let's not forget about the men:

Steve Jobs - very few men were richer than the thin Steve Jobs when he was 56 and died from pancreatic cancer.

Michael Jackson - okay, he was richer than Steve Jobs, also super thin, and we all know that he died of a drug overdose at 50.

Prince - also richer than Steve Jobs, also extremely thin, also died of a drug overdose, him at 57.

The list of rich, thin people whose lives ended, or nearly ended, either from disease or from a sudden tragedy goes on and on and on.  So does the list of rich and thin people who are lonely, unfulfilled, have terminally ill children, suffer in abusive marriages, battle mental illness, lose homes to fire or weather, and would often gladly trade their riches for something more meaningful in their lives. Being rich and thin protects you from absolutely nothing, despite what the world would have you believe.  Those two qualifiers do not make a person any better, any stronger, any more powerful, any more successful, or any more protected than anyone else on the Earth.

So what can we learn from this?

A lot of things.  Here are a few that come to mind:

1. Stop waiting until you are earning a certain amount of money or hit a certain goal weight to start living your life!!  I know people who are desperate to find someone with whom to share their lives but won't go on dating websites or try meeting anyone until they have lost a certain amount of weight.  That is so foolish!  The time to live is NOW, not to mention the fact that if the partner you want puts a higher premium on looks than on substance I think it's time to rethink your standards.

2. Stop waiting until you earn a certain amount of money or hit a certain goal weight to consider yourself successful, or beautiful, or strong, or empowered, or worthy of all of the good things that life has to offer! Cancer and tragedies don't care what your bank account looks like or what the number is on the scale, so neither should you.

3. When your time is up, it's up, no matter how much money you have or what the label on your jeans says.  So stop spending so much time, effort, worry, and headspace over those things.  They don't matter!  If you want to have money because that will improve your quality of life, then by all means make money and save money and spend it as you see fit.  But don't attach a monetary number to your own worth as a human being.  If you want to lose weight to have more energy, to keep your organs and muscles healthy, and to be able to move about in your life the way you want to, then by all means, adopt healthy eating and exercise habits.  But don't attach a weight number to your value as a person who exists, and is therefore meant to be here.

Rich and thin people have insecurities and vulnerabilities, and are just as susceptible to the curve balls that life throws them as everyone else.  There is absolutely no reason to revere them or worship them or honor them any more than any other person on the planet.  The person you need to respect and applaud every minute of every day is yourself, regardless of the value of your stock portfolio or your dress size.

Life is short. None of us is invulnerable.  So I believe we should spend our time focusing on what makes us happy, what brings us joy and fulfillment, and stop focusing on other people's definitions of success and perfection.  And, when the occasion arises for some long held beliefs to be questioned, question them.  Always.  You never know what you might learn for when the next curve ball comes your way.