Dance It Out

Man was I upset today. And yesterday. And the day before.  I'm in a situation where I am being continually frustrated and disappointed by people that I am depending on to help me and for a variety of reasons things aren't going as expected.  This is on the heels of a situation a few days ago where there were other difficult and discouraging things going on.  My mind and spirit have been taking a beating and today was what felt like the last straw.

So there I was, crying, balling my hands into fists, and seriously considering banging my head against the nearest wall, when it was time for one of the funny segments I listen to on the radio in the mornings. I put it on, listened to the segment with half an ear, and then when it ended I was ready to find the wall on which to bang my head.  At that moment, one of my all-time favorite songs came on.  "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon.  At the same moment, the words of Shonda Rhimes and Grey's Anatomy came to me.  Dance it out.

I turned up the radio, moved away from the open windows, and had a three minute dance party with myself.

I flailed my arms, I shook my hips, I spun around, and my rhythmic jumping would have put any Jazzercise class to shame.  I danced and danced for all I was worth and when the song was over I caught my breath and noticed how I was feeling.

Light and sparkly from head to toe.

My problems were still there, I still had a difficult email to send, the fact that my trust was broken multiple times still existed, but I felt better about it all.  I was calmer, and therefore able to deal with the situation more rationally, I had some adrenaline flowing, which gave me a more positive outlook on things overall, and the feeling of my heart pumping and my limbs and body moving made me feel powerful and alive and like I could handle any difficulty that came my way...at least for the next half hour or so.

I learned something super important from this little exercise. Actually a few things:

1. When you're facing a difficult situation, allow yourself to take a break from it and gain some perspective.  Watch a show that makes you laugh (my current personal favorite is Impractical Jokers), listen to music that you like, bake a loaf of bread, clean out a closet, do SOMETHING that will take you out of the situation and that will keep you from sinking down deeper into the hole you're halfway down already.  Removing yourself from it, and focusing on something else, even for a few minutes, will help you to get a different outlook and hopefully even help you get your brain in the right mode to find a solution.

2. Do something physical! Be active!  When James Taylor talked about overcoming his drug addiction he said that what he found to be most effective was to "sweat it out." Find an activity you enjoy doing and sweat out the anxiety and the stress and the feeling like you don't have control over the situation. This isn't "go work out so you can at least improve your looks." It's do something that will remind you that you have a body that works, that you're a strong, capable person, and it ultimately will give you an energy boost to conquer the problem that's facing you at the moment.

3. Dancing in particular can be very therapeutic. The act of moving your body to music invigorates the senses and allows a very specific instance of "letting go" to occur.  You can also let go in this way  through meditation or yoga or a spin class, but dancing - when you are allowing your body to move freely, the way it wants to, with no prescribed routine - is very freeing for the mind, body, and soul.  There's something about moving one's corporal self through space and time that connects us to the Earth and the atmosphere around us, and it can be very spiritual experience that allows for an opening of our hearts to the possibilities previously unseen.

No matter how hard we try to control the world around us, bad things are going to happen. Things aren't going to go according to plan, people will disappoint us, and even through we try not to, we will sometimes take things personally and be hurt by them. What we CAN control however, is how we choose to deal with it when these inevitable things occur.  We can lie down and take them and bemoan the state of our lives, or we can dance it out and figure out the next step to take to solve the problem at hand.  Sometimes we forget we have that choice, but we always do.

"I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions." - Stephen Covey

Today I am deciding to dance it out!  Care to join me?

What to do when the world is falling apart...

I'm tired today.  Tired of the tragedies that seem to be occurring daily.  I woke up to the news of the mass shooting in Las Vegas.  This on the heels of the hurricane devastation in Puerto Rico, just after the horrible aftermaths of the hurricanes in Texas and Florida.  Meanwhile America is still fighting amongst themselves about the NFL national anthem protests, the healthcare bill, and the continued inanity of our current president's tweets and press conference statements. 

This all comes less than two months after the unfathomable horror of white supremacist neo-Nazi rallies spewing hate and vitriol in otherwise peaceful towns and streets in the United States of America in 2017.  Four months after a suicide bombing at a concert (whose attendees were largely children) in Manchester, UK.  And the recent bomb scares across the country.  So many of us are still dealing with the tragedies of the Aurora movie theater shooting, the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting, the Columbine school massacre and the many other senseless and heinous acts of terror that have plagued our nation in recent years.  

It's so sad to think that we are becoming inured to these atrocities. It seems like since 9/11 we all say things like, "Here's another one," or "Pray for the victims of ______" as we go along our day like nothing happened.  It can be very defeating and depressing to think that human beings are getting used to the idea of mass executions and the random slaughter of our fellow men and women.  

I guess what we have to remember is, evil is not new.  Evil has been a part of modern society, and I'm assuming primitive society as well.  How many millions of innocent lives were targeted and lost over the 10,000 years or so that we know of human existence?  Millions upon millions of non-military people - men, women and children have perished by command of tyrannical dictators like Mao Zedong, Pol Pot, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, the list goes on.  We know that evil exists and but it certainly hits home when the deliberate annihilation of fellow Americans who were just out to have a good time at a concert, or spend a morning at school, or go to a movie is the top news story of the day. 

So what do we do with our heavy thoughts and burdened thoughts? Well, first we should allow ourselves to have them.  Resist the cynicism that so many people adopt in these times. It's hard not to just believe that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, I know.  But we need to keep our hearts open and malleable and believing that good will ultimately win out in the end somehow.  

Secondly, I think we need to focus on the good. Count our blessings.  Hug our loved ones.  Acknowledge the things we have to be grateful for and resolve to fill our thoughts with gratitude more and more each day.  

Then, we need to make the choice to spread light into the darkness.  So many people are pointing fingers, calling out blame, filling social media feeds with acidic words and blatant hatred.  Don't be one of those people!  People who do their best to keep the world divided into "us" and "them."  People who relish cutting others down in order to build themselves up.  People who criticize and belittle and judge and discriminate against others because that's how they try to make their own miserable lives bearable.  Make the choice to speak kindly, act courteously, show compassion and tolerance toward other human beings regardless of the color of their skin, the religion they practice, their customs, core beliefs, hairstyles and wardrobes.  Make the choice every day to find the good in others, to seekthe similarities between us, and to remember the fact that that not one of us will make it out of this world alive.  

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King Jr.

What to do when the world is falling apart? Love one another.  To the best of your ability, in as many ways that you can.   Love is the answer, and it does indeed conquer all.